Pints Abroad

I am writing this while wearing jeans, a collared shirt under a sweater, sitting in a cafe I reached by subway (and on that subway I was reading a book), sipping tea, while a man plays the piano in the corner. Either this is the most performative action I’ve ever done, or the Drew everyone knows is dead, and I’ve been taken over by an alien.

After being here a whole two weeks, and to bring myself back to my roots, I will match the spots/places/random things I have been to/seen in London to Big Ten Schools.

Illinois: I met a cool dude from Illinois this week in class, and I don’t know a whole lot about Illinois, so I’m going to go off of his vibe and give Illinois Landlord’s Beer. Landlord’s is, from what I can tell, an original London beer that I always see older gentlemen drinking. I can’t tell if it’s a ‘cool’ beer or if people just say they like it, much like Illinois.

Indiana: Indiana is up good right now with a football national championship and a big rivalry win over Purdue (damn.), but I don’t know how long that flash will last, and for that reason, Indiana is the Leake Street Arches in Waterloo. Cool place with a lot of very interesting people; however, give it a couple of years, and the graffiti and punk vibe hype will die off.

Iowa: I’ve never been to Iowa, probably won’t ever go to Iowa, and I bet that 99% of people won’t either. Somehow, they’re viewed as a ‘threat’ every year in football and basketball, but it rarely ever happens, and it’s only fitting that Iowa is Tottenham Hotspur. High expectations, amazing fans, and somehow every season is the same.

Maryland: Not a Big Ten team in my opinion, just like how Canary Wharf is not a part of London.

Michigan: Michigan can be a lot of things. If you want to represent its impact, then its parliament (but that’s so boring), and if you want to represent its athletics, you can’t. So I’m going to say Michigan is The Devonshire. The Devonshire is constantly filled, and its patrons are loud and love it or hate it; it’s always being talked about. Search up pubs in London, and you get the Devonshire. An elite institution serving good Guinness.

Michigan State: If I were a biased writer, I would say that to Michigan would be Westminster and Michigan State would be Greenwich, a lot less talked about and fits the whole big brother little brother thing well. However, to stay unbiased, I will say it’s the English Showers. The showers here are absolutely designed by idiots, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a Michigan State graduate is behind them.

Minnesota: It’s a little hot politically to talk about Minnesota right now; however, I’d say Minnesota is Primrose Hill. Seems like a good fit with the whole outdoorsy thing, don’t know much else about the other UofM.

Nebraska: I have absolutely no clue. Why is this not in the Big 12?

Northwestern: Crazy rebuild this offseason for their football team and have to give them credit for that game at Wrigley (under Sherrone, so it doesn’t count), but there is no clearer match than The National Gallery. Fancy, famous, and it seems like their type of place. No one hates the National Gallery and I don’t know if anyone hates Northwestern.

Ohio State: From the second I walked out of the Embankment stop, I knew what OSU was: Covent Garden Street Performer. Very loud and try to make you think whatever they just did is the greatest act on Earth. It also helps that all their crowds aren’t from Covent Garden.

Oregon: Big matchup next year in Eugene in November. I’ve never really had an issue with Oregon, and I think a good match is Shoreditch. Very cool place with a hip vibe and plenty to do. Overall, one of the nicer comparisons I’ve given.

Penn State: This one was very, very easy. Penn State is basically Arsenal. Talked about forever, has a huge passionate fan base, but never gets the job done. They’re sitting at the top of the Prem and UCL right now, but come judgement day, they’ll be 2nd and lose in the semi’s (again).

Purdue: An engineering school with what was supposed to be a good basketball team (fire Painter?), but in London, Purdue is The Tube. An engineering masterpiece that does its job and doesn’t get much hoopla about it. The Tube is very predictably normal, just like a Purdue Elite Eight exit.

Rutgers: Another school that shouldn’t be on this list but somehow is. The birthplace of college football gets The Thames. Old, Historic, and pretty much the butt of every joke.

UCLA: The alternative paradise in the Big Ten just like Notting Hill is here. Shopping, street food, thrift stores, vinyl collections. Notting Hill is a perfect fit.

USC: UCLA’s twin brother and always on social media. It’s somehow everyone’s dream school, and it’s an influencers’ breeding ground just like Borough Market. The food is trendy (and good) and overpriced, much like the USC tuition.

Washington: Washington, by all accounts, is a very cool place (never been), and I’ll always have a sweet spot for the 2023 National Championship game. The London equivalent is St. James Park. A nice outdoorsy space in the city with good running paths, never hurt anyone.

Wisconsin: Easy. Any Pub. Wisconsin would love it here.

I think that’s all of them.

Friday, I am heading out to the northern lands of Edinburgh, and then next weekend it’s Milan for the Olympics.

This week’s POTW is The Cow in Notting Hill. An excellent atmosphere located about a mile and a half from the tourist area of Notting Hill. The bartender knew everyone’s name, and there were lots of dogs (see below for dog on a barstool). The Guinness was one of the best we had and I will be back.

This week I drank thirteen (13) different pints of Guinness, rated below.

Goldwood’s (MG): 7.2/10

Wetherspoons (ME): 5.2/10 

Three Cranes (MH): 8.0/10*

Sugar Loaf: 7.2/10 

Feeney’s (TH): 7.4/10

Traitors Gate (TH): 6.4/10 

The Vault (TL): 6.7/10 

The Cow (NH): 8.2/10*

The Devonshire (PD):7.8/10

The Artichoke (Canterbury): 7.4/10

The Flying Horse (MG): 7.1:10

The Dirty Dick (LS): 7.3/10

The Toucan (SH): 7.8/10